An epic scene unfolds; a knight approaches a recently secured bridge and a distant tower where a dragon circles. Dark souls, preare to die.

Jones tried to impress his boss by scaling the giant line graph. Unfortunately, he severed his carotid artery in doing so. The boss laughed.

The northern ice cap slowly dribbles down the face of the Earth, and it tickles like mad.

I was delighted that for the first time in years my boyfriend didn't give me a "dick in a box" on our anniversary. No, now it's a rainbow.

I think Dr. Dre is swimming in a pool in which he is not permitted to be swimming.

The jewish cat was glad that passover only lasted 6 days this year.

DJ Schnell is scratching out an Aryan beat

He refused to let his overly hairy chest stop him from wearing his low-cut scrubs anymore. Shame be damned, he's bringing fashion to nursing

I am THIS CLOSE to being able to see my own forehead.

Two puzzle pieces going through a divorce. Apparently, they just don't fit anymore.

Ginger vampire is standing in the sunlight and sizzling. Is it because he's ginger, or is it because he's a vampire?

Not only did superman trip before the finish line, he seems to have melted into a puddle of super goo and sinew