So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose.

Video game character has died a mediocre death

A man is pissed that he couldn't catch all of the pokemon, so he lays eggs in a deep hole.

A Christmas Tree that is menstruating.

Kanye West has been cast in Les Misérables

A snail who has learned to domesticate horses.

As a man is counting sheep, he sees one of them isn't leaping over the fence. Rather, the sheep launches itself out of a cannon to the moon.

"[...] comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand."

"No one who has been emasculated by crushing or cutting may enter the assembly of the Lord." (Deuteronomy 23:1)

Johnny Bravo wearing shades.

“Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed." (Leviticus 19:19)

"This is my covenant with you and your descendants after you, the covenant you are to keep: Every male among you shall be circumcised."