Someone aims a portal gun at a birthday cake. Soon, the cake really will be a lie.

The Eels of Reddit fly above the shit farms, trailing rainbow chevrons in their wake. Later, crabs will grow.

A special T-shirt designed like men's underwear for easy access for a guy with his genitals awkwardly on his chest.

Gross man with creepy whiskers levitates a spoon with his tongue.

Doritos love surfing and a good time, just riding that wave and melting away into oblivion but loving it the entire time dude dude dude dude

A tombstone with the number 14 looms before a green-and-blue superhero. Whyyyyy?

"Sweg," said the giant. We didn't know what he meant, but we were afraid to ask.

"No trees, son? I'unno," said the confused bull. "My magic golden acorn will find them, if any are left."

Don't you just hate it when your new sprouts get root-bound, then grow their own helicopter blade and fly away? Man, that's just the worst.

Two alien candidates for president go to the bank to exchange long DNA strands. If you can think of a better way, I'd like to hear it.

Man tries to push the darkness back, but he grows weaker. Soon he'll no longer be able to use the power of his mind to light the way out.

Awww, black bear doesn't understand football, but he loves it. He sits, nibbling on the pigskin, a red helmet on his ear, hearts hovering.