A terrible, unfunny post on a terrible, unfunny message board for terrible, unfunny people.

Oh no! R2D2 and C3PO have entered the pyramid and awakened the Mummy!

OH GOD MY HAND WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BLOOD EVERYWHERE OH JESUS

A middle-aged lady from the 1950's speaks into an ice cream cone. She thinks it's a microphone. It's very sad.

A man eats of a watermelon so magnificent, it makes him weep tears of joy.

"MAN I FUCKING LOVE EMERALDS" "HOLY SHIT ME TOO" "LET'S GET MARRIED AND HAVE BEAUTIFUL EMERALD CHILDREN" "OK"

A ladybug getting hit by lightning, and apparently enjoying it

A skull playing a trumpet. Doot doot!

A cheerleader spews forth a mysterious blue blob. She will later be referred to as "Patient Zero".

I do not think I had ever seen a nastier-looking man. Under the black hat, the eyes had been those of an unsuccessful rapist.

Keanu Reeves' hand becomes deformed. Woah.

A walking butt has discovered a way to enjoy modern video games on an obsolete gaming console, revolutionizing the industry.