"MAN I FUCKING LOVE EMERALDS" "HOLY SHIT ME TOO" "LET'S GET MARRIED AND HAVE BEAUTIFUL EMERALD CHILDREN" "OK"

A ladybug getting hit by lightning, and apparently enjoying it

A skull playing a trumpet. Doot doot!

A cheerleader spews forth a mysterious blue blob. She will later be referred to as "Patient Zero".

I do not think I had ever seen a nastier-looking man. Under the black hat, the eyes had been those of an unsuccessful rapist.

Keanu Reeves' hand becomes deformed. Woah.

A walking butt has discovered a way to enjoy modern video games on an obsolete gaming console, revolutionizing the industry.

A yellow parakeet looking directly at me. It's either retarded or wants to kill me.

A terrible, unfunny post on a terrible, unfunny message board for terrible, unfunny people.

OH GOD MY HAND WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BLOOD EVERYWHERE OH JESUS

Somebody punching a wall in anger and immediately regretting it.

A new red car!