Tom the Tortoise sits sobbing on the sidewalk because he'll never be as fast as Ricky Bobby and his '88 trans am.

A squiggle throws off the oppressive chains of his etch-a-sketch plantation owner and boards the underground railroad for Canada

Unshrink you? That would require some sort of "Rebigulator" which is a concept so ridiculous it makes me want to laugh out loud and chortle

I don't know what that bear did, but he sure did piss off the french toast!

The earth can't stand to be so far away from his evil twin mars.

Chim Chim has experienced a change in political ideology as of late.

French Canadians are the worst Canadians, but they have some good weed.

Kobe def raped that girl, but he bought his wife a huge rock so that makes it okay. Also that pigeon got mad hops like Air Bud.

Will you be my Katie Couric?

A mouse on a hunger strike. Maybe it's poisoned? That's a smart goddamned mouse if so.

HEY ARNOLD! is looking up and has cute dimples

I... HAVE... THE POWER!!!!!!!