The earth can't stand to be so far away from his evil twin mars.

Chim Chim has experienced a change in political ideology as of late.

French Canadians are the worst Canadians, but they have some good weed.

Kobe def raped that girl, but he bought his wife a huge rock so that makes it okay. Also that pigeon got mad hops like Air Bud.

Will you be my Katie Couric?

A mouse on a hunger strike. Maybe it's poisoned? That's a smart goddamned mouse if so.

HEY ARNOLD! is looking up and has cute dimples

I... HAVE... THE POWER!!!!!!!

Cloud of FF7 fame laments the necessary bludgeoning of a kitty cat. Must be Kingdom Hearts Cloud, actually, FF7 Cloud wasn't an emo.

A young sneakthief cannot find Riften because the sperglord player is doing a no map no fast travel playthrough.

A turd bigger than the dog it is walking visits the grave of Robert McNamara

M M M MY SHARONA!