Tired with his shenanigans, Mr. Smith decided to hunt Slenderman down and kill him.

It's not that I want to be here - my bf just took the name of the site a bit too seriously, and, well, I don't really have a choice...

"Monsters?" asked the boy fearfully. "Yes, monsters!" replied the ghost, "Why, there's probably six of them hiding in this room!"

When Mother Nature invokes volcanoes, it's to destroy all the women prettier than her, rather than to destroy the industries polluting her.

"Follow me!" said the bird to the plum, "I'll show you the secret passage to the wizards' tower!"

How Girls: The book that will tell you all you need to know about the behavior of girls!

As it turns out, emo girls are infatuated with hockey pucks. Just brandish one in front of one's face, she'll be completely hypnotized!!

Rich android gentlemen care about their looks. They periodically buy themselves new skulls, to keep their heads nice and shiny.

Committing suicide in the vicinity of a person with poor clothing taste is strongly discouraged.

In an alternate universe where people mount snakes instead of horses, the young, inexperienced cavalryman is excited for his first battle.

"Please, vampires," cried the Indian, "Don't eat me! I've got a cross and everything!"

The Physics police caught Johnny and his saddled dog red-handed as they broke Newton's first law.