fuck i used horse shampoo again

the future is bullshit, everything is a hologram

Breathe deeply. Relax every muscle in your body but your sphincter, and try not to think about how much you have to poop while you meditate.

I hope when I go to sleep my dreams don't get derailed into another Spiderman thread. FUCK

Hey kid, you ever been the ass end of a cool bird before? First time for everything, right?

Chameleons are notoriously solitary creatures, owing mostly to their obsession with Catan and other awful German board games.

Well, officer, all I remember was my fucking wife yelling about Manilow tickets on the radio, and all of a sudden these birds's flyin at us

Man, boss says I can't come back to work for weeks. Says I gotta recover. Scuse me if I ain't bothered by having my hand torn off by a robot

The banjo duet was interrupted when Ygroloc, the World-Turtle, revealed Nemesis, the Second Sun, to the world. Happy birthday, Ygroloc.

Wish you were here. Actually, Rebecca, no I don't. I'm not sorry. Here's a picture of me and my cat. We have each other, since you left.

Mom, what the fuck did you think I meant when I said I wanted to get cheesed and drive downtown?

Done is done, yes there will be no taking back. Every journey must come to an end. All hail to the Gunslinger, the Dinh, and the King.