I....uh...I didn't realize you were into that kind of thing.

Bowser's real reason for kidnapping Peach: A major crush on Mario. One day he may be pretty enough to catch Mario's eye... One day...

Bowser reflects on how his obsessive love for Mario led him to this prison cell.

In the privacy of his own castle, Bowser secretly loves Mario.

Bowser squeezes his inflatable mario love doll untill it pops

Maybe Bowser should contact a specialty store to fashion a sturdier, er, "companion" for him. The plumber merchandise just won't hold up.

Bowser taunts Mario by reading him the features of the new sex toy he just got. Listen folks, I just describe what I see.

Bowser is reading to Mario an adult themed instruction book over the phone

Bowser is reading an instruction manual to Mario so that he can help her with her "plumbing" issue.