I don't speak Japanese or whatever the hell, but I guess Dirk Strider does

Fillipe wandered the post-apocalyptic wasteland that was to be his new home. He wondered to himself--in his native tongue--what now?

Digimon

Anne of Green Gables returns to devour the flesh of the living

Maybe I'm reading to much into this, but...an elephant with a treadmill for a nose eating a saber-tooth tiger while barking like a dog

70s black guy with a :3 face

Captain America fighting the Hulk. It is VERY IMPORTANT to draw this as shittily as possible.

Iron Atom disagrees with your assessment of his personality

A wizard attempts making apple pie without magic, but finds it more difficult than expected

Onion man eating firebacon, the delicacy of his people, as a midnight snack

Hey hey hey, kids! Guess what time it is! That's right, MURDER TIME!

Based on stereotypes that are totally untrue that I do not agree with this guy would maybe be very excited over the prospect of a watermelon