The abridged version of Poe's "Nevermore".

Although I was only a child, I instinctively knew that a shaken Cola dousing was the only way to cure mom from her metastatic neck measles.

Certain art historians have advanced the theory that Picasso invented, or at least foresaw, the curly bendy super long drinking straw.

Mind you I'm not passing judgment, but some consider the flamboyant Gay pride ladders to be unsafe, whereas I just think they're loose!

When the phone rang, I accidentally set a book on the cursor and walked away. Minutes later I became a Pop-Expressionist.

In the fourth grade we took a field trip to see the Liberty Bell, but it was closed because someone had pooped right under it.

If a grey cloud is confronted with the flag of an unknown country, testicles will look like cherries.

Lumbar support is critical in certain aspects of nude modelling.

Ray showed his pet eel to his nephew.

Unfinished Totem poles simply don't look very impressive.

Imagine the collective sorrow that would be felt if children saw their favorite cartoon character in the act of giving a Hot Carl.

When my thoughts smile, it comes across more as a moon that iss imbecilic, like a Mongoloid on sugar.