Half a Ton, now in convenient carry-on cases. Also, it buzzes. Might want to get that checked out.

Sushi without wasabi is like Penn without Teller. Penn NEEDS Teller. They're a group act! A GROUP ACT.

My face when I looked at my accounting final.

Kramer says something else that incites hate, to the point of death.

Mexican standoff with chickens.

Solid Snake's favorite bargain.

The devil went down to Georgia. He was lookin' for a soul to steal.

The ascension of Chris Farley. (You know that funny motherf^&$er went to heaven.)

The waffle cone is a lie.

I suddenly want to play Skyrim.

Your reaction when you turned on the bedroom lights to see your parents in an "intimate moment"

World's largest crayfish splashes about in the world's smallest puddle.