"And now the News at two: Are teenagers pouring red ink into their eyes as a way of getting high?"

Rule 1: Slightly curved blue line good. Rule 2: Perfectly straight orange line bad.

No! Sad eyed monkeys may not have bananas!

Iceberg with a mustache who can speak only in text message talk was responsible for the sinking of the Titanic. He seems pleased.

The sun has dropped a hollow blue cloud onto a red man. He will never complete his red garden now...

A man attempts to eat Bournemouth.

A man with glasses attempts to change the tides by furiously masturbating at them.

A chubby, hairy-legged woman denies a disappointed man. Is it because he's a stick-figure or because he has a sock on his cock? Who knows.

The new videogame "Purple" was a disappointment both to the fans and the characters.

Activision's new game: "Nazi Pirate Zombies From Mars!"

A baby's first love: Anything that rattles.

A dwarf tries to hi-five his hero: The World-Record Holder for Most Sausages Held by Laptop.