A blonde woman sitting on her pink couch with a tube of lipstick that is her size. Both her and the lipstick are weeping uncontrollably.

It is a rabbit (likely stuffed) with a pair of underwear on top of its head (the underwear has a pink heart on it. It is quite a good look.)

Is that Trubbish? Pokemon battle against Trubbish, then. You don't have any Pokemon, though. You only wield a sword, so you choose to run.

Because he's worth it

"Say fuck frankie..."