However clever, puns did not disguise the unemployed man's true flaw: Alcoholism, and cataracts.

Art project: Passive aggressive hand turkeys.

I can't think of any better way to describe artificial watermelon flavor.

Telekinetic handball is an intense sport to play, but surprisingly dull to watch for the uninitiated.

There are always bigger, stronger pubic lice than what you've got. Count yourself lucky.

While I show a smile, my physical deformities wrack me with agony. I should not exist, by the laws of geometry.

The cast of "White Chicks" stars in a much hated new sequel.

The N64 Rumble-snack-pack wasn't a particularly big hit, seeing as how nobody eats leaves. Or fruit, in this day and age.

The clothes make the man. Or, in this case, make the man immobile at the worst possible time. Illiterate too. Unfortunate.

Be that as it may, seal-orange, what is done is done, and my dead family requires vengeance!

Just a moment... people still buy fur right? I'M GOING TO BE RICH!

And THAT is why you don't eat the canful of spring snakes, just to spite your prankster.