...rly? ;(

Henry the Tortoise never cared much for the burrow. The flowers, sun, and blue tear gas clouds were much better.

STOP THE FUCKING HASHTAGS--I GOT A SMALL GIRL HERE AND NOBODY WANTS TO GET HURT!

A high banana needs some more of that "Dosha."

A dead man is revived by a homosexual magician

Billy! The greatest warrior ever! He slayed an evil ocean and cast the Lich King down!

"Help, my foot is on fire!" the man in the cotton sweater said. Soon enough, his foot wasn't the only thing on fire...his mother was too.

Josh discovers that being immortal is fun if you have applesauce and a..."slightly" malformed car...that...looks like a spoon...

Sophie learns being immortal is fun if you have a vagina.

Nicholas Flamel teaches two teenagers how to fart into a magical book with their newly discovered Silver and Gold auras.

A dis-embodied open mouth grins widely as his two dis-embodied hands fuse the visible spectrum into pure auric energy.

A pair of lips. What fegs.