but why is all the rum gone?

Charlie... candy mountain, charlie!

Sorry Im not good enough describerer to that!

the tombstone of a child who killed himself because his parents gave him a terrible name

That obnoxious asshole who lives in the apartment the floor above you.

Mr. Hanky's more sophisticated brother

Dane Cook being funny

Afro jesus has a bad hair day.

With an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, who needs a girlfriend?

Falling into a volcano

It appears to be one who enjoys putting fishsticks in its mouth.

The left boob is round and jiggly, but the right boob is stretched out and floppy. They are both in the kitchen, of course.