Cactus, why you such a diva?

This is the current state of my heart. It's eaten too many frosted flakes and feels a bit sick.

Eating sugar straight out the bag to deal with your parent's divorce.

Winnie the Pooh riding a flying frog while eating rice pudding.

Satan isn't happy with his career. He wants to work in a better environment but he has a billion-year contract with the big man upstairs.

I was born with six toes, six fingers, and six freckles in my eyes. Mama thought it meant I was the spawn of the devil.

Sometimes, life throws flying grills your way. Sometimes, those flying grills stab you right through your small intestine.

Picasso asked a friend to draw a portrait of him; not satisfied with the portrait's quality, he shot an arrow at the knee of his friend.

The older sister sits at the computer, tries to enjoy her Gossip Girl on Hulu but ADD lil sis won't stop throwing those dang paper balls.

This tree is motherfucking strong. Don't you try to cut it down.

A solider solutes a passing truck carrying a stockpile of vintage porn.

A red balloon is forced into marrying a cloud when she is in love with the sun.