Santa don't want none of that. His cookies better be homemade, or else you get coal. And by coal, I mean he'll take a dump in your stocking.

santa takking a shiiiiiiittttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Straining to read his letters, Santa once again tries to remember where he left his glasses that fateful night...

Mushroom with glasses

Giant mushroom wearing sunglasses has appeared on your lawn

man opens his door to the coolest mushroom this side of the pecos

Be careful not to stare into the abyss for when you look into it, it will stare back.

this guy is trying to kill himself by jumping into a hole. But he is scared, because he will die if he jumps, so he thinks.

You are falling down from great height. You realize that you will not survive the impact. This is it. This is the moment you die.