How long has this been in the fridge?

Spoiled Food

Some asshole gives away the ending of a book to an apple. The book is like 10 years old, so it doesn't matter

The apple with an eye decides to rewrite Harry Potter so that Dumbledore kills Snape.

cyclops apple fill its knowledge on how to kill vampires from books, hes ready to become the vampire slayer he dreams of

The mutated flag kills the vampire.

After the flag I brought to the top of Mt. Everest came to life and impaled me, I thought all hope was lost. A big furry creature saved me.

But it was all for naught as the mountain came alive, ripped the shit demon off it's top, and left the british boy to bleed out on him.

After the mountain eats Satan, the hasidic magic dissipates, and the rabbi returns to his home.