honey, how come our child is black and we're white?

man wasn't supposed to be at work then is told to come into work today

Norse wizard agrees with Viking

draw your dream date (inb4 hands)

some kind of shit sandwich?

someone's a twilight person

HEY I'M GRUMP I'M NOT SO GRUMP AND WE'RE THE ______

When i have sex, i feel nothing. When I eat in and out burger, I feel nothing. When I'm on the Pokecenter battlefield... I feel...

ok really this is the 4th time in a row I've gotten "square root of a watermelon" just stop it now!

Graduate points out that boot + hammer = wtfboom

lying alone in the desert and you just spilled your last water bottle

peta's pokemon black and blue