A spherical rainbow attacks America, which is...a broken heart?...Ok I'm lost. Maybe it's going for the heart?...or...fuck I give up.

Jim, desperate to prove he was Elvis' incarnate, started wearing sprightly lumps of poop on his head, in order to get that smooth look

I know you may not read this, but I'm a 12 yr old fly, and want to one day be living in pools of shit. Even one speck of shit will help...

Spiderbombed

She had an eye for John all her life, today she'd finally go up to him, ask him out. But as she approached...then John was a zombie

A piece of candy cunningly disguised as a rock

The lab tests were unsuccessful sir--on an unrelated note, there are now 478 winged sentient waffles in the Australian Outback...

Man contemplates whether he likes fellow man's red moustache, cos' if he does, he will without hesitation murder and salvage the moustache

On being told to suck his finger, Yoshi reacts aggressively towards the strange, angry shark.

An idiotic girl ,angered by Daffy- really she looks like an idiot- a fucking dick head...you know what?...I'm gonna kill her- ILL FUCKIN' KI

Step 1. Find a bowl of tomato sauce. Step 2. Fuck it. Congratulations you are now a pervert Yoshi.

My estimate for the future of this fucked up planet- enjoy life, cos' in this many years there won't be much left to enjoy.