Most people found Veronica abrasive, but she was only trying to mask her crippling insecurities, as well as her three ponderous testicles.

"Pancakes! Pancakes!" He fired his nose cannon at the oncoming hordes, then reloaded. "Pancakes," he whispered hoarsely.

As the child sat up in bed, screaming, Santa realized that it was in fact July and he was about to have some explaining to do

"Pancakes!" he screamed, a mad glint in his eye, as he piloted his helicopter ever closer to the looming cliff face.

the new white chocolate and sprinkle dipped beef jerky strips were not selling quite as briskly as might be expected

"I'll never drink again" Pacman vowed as his body was shaken by another violent heave

"But moooom! None of the other turtles at school have an igloo for a shell!"

In this doodle, I discover no kinship, no understanding, no mercy. I see only the overwhelming indifference of brown.

"Strong men also cry," the spider said balefully, gazing off into the distance. "Strong men...also cry."

Perhaps in retrospect The Human Centipede Final Sequence wasn't the best choice for Mom and Dad's Golden Anniversary afterparty

"You're...you're so beautiful" the unicorn gasped, inching ever closer. "I have to paint you!"

Frantically he dug at the quicksand, his hands bloodying as his fingernails tore away, but at last the final edge of his game boy slid away