the teapot is screaming, the singeing, tearing, stinging pain carves at every nerve in its fucking body oh my god

It's like a bird of rarest spun heaven metal. Or like silvery wine floating in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense now.

using his spydick™, the alien probes the living room thoroughly for threats. spotting the block of cheese, he reports a possible frenchman.

from the safe haven of hind sight, plunging that silverware into a socket wasn't such a great idea, concluded the asian stick man

who the fuck cut this cake? you're not supposed to take 1/3 of the entire thing in one slice, you filthy beast

fucking like rabbit

4 year old obtains permission to use the computer

grey Shit

dollas

the finnish are responsible for 9/11

"my own ingenious never ceases to amaze" the ninja said aloud, testing out his new secret weapon: STEALTH SPRING NOSE

santa smirked,brandishing a small shiv to rudolph. "sorry," his smile turned to a grin,"you're a liability.off to the glue factory with you"