hauteville, france: home of the original disfigured seagull

dann ingham beard status: confirmed

one day, i'll quit smoking. not today. maybe monday. probably not monday.

April is the cruellest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain.

abstract art

con-sumo: world champion of pasta eating AND sumo wrestling

there are two choices in life: 1) buy a can of muria utu, get free car. 2) eternal happiness.

gender-confused hens

DON'T PLAY WITH ME. DON'T FUCKING PLAY WITH ME. THIS GUN IS LOADED. I'LL ASK YOU ONCE MORE NICELY: WHAT. IS. IN. THE. BOX?

hatlligator

matthew 20:16. "so the last shall be the first, and the first will be last." internet cowboy edition.

i'm jesus christ. if i were you and cared about my afterlife, i'd keep my hands off the freaking lemon juice. thanks in advance.