What's your dad like? Draw me a picture of your dad. I wanna meet that dad.

You ask for a Coke at a restaurant and they ask if Pepsi is okay but goddammit it's not okay

St. Sizzurp, patron saint of the purple drank beckons ye to sip of the lean in the name of our Lord

That mouse from the movie Sing can't find love because he's voiced by Seth MacFarlane and is incapable of physical intimacy

A misogynistic rabbit is cursed with a vaginal forehead in order to pay for his misdeeds against feminism

I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle but beware I may piss a trickle from my pumpernickel prickle as life can be all too fickle

Mourning the death of his obese feline friend, John Arbuckle grieves by eating himself out of house and home on Garfield's Birthday

One of those stress toys that looks like a cartoon mutant sea monkey and squeaks loud as hell when you strangle the absolute shit out of it

Earthworm won't eat Doritos because it has a craving for delicious dirt that's already been eaten and shit out by another worm

Fire that burns down the whole town, Uranium bombs, No survivors.

Your feather was dying, you could see the pain it was in. It was your friend, you loved it. You didn't want to have to say goodbye.

Firefighter dalmatian is the #1 good boy