Sherlock Holmes is desperately in love with John Watson.

Sassy Ginny Weasley.

This is not appropriate fire-extinguishing behavior.

A neglectful mother.

A prideful goat.

A slutty skateboarder with luscious curls.

Please contact your physician if your erection lasts longer than four hours, as this is a sign of a rare but serious side effect.

Charlie suddenly discovers that, despite having no opposable thumbs or real speech capabilities, his phone sex service is going quite well.

A lonely corkscrew who sees no purpose in life because he is so very very alone. He wants to become a detective instead.

This is the sort of game children should not be playing.

It could be a tree but it could also be the backside of a green lump as it drags its bloody self back home.

I'M NOT A PERVERT.