The person who would proof read Hitler’s speeches was a grammar Punk
When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
As a dishwasher, I come home after hours of work in which I get covered in filth, and I take a shower only to realize…I am the final dish
Thanks to the Internet, I have probably seen more naked ladies than all of my ancestors combined
What are snails even trying to do?
If Katniss and Peeta from “Hunger Games” were Hollywood celebrities, their supercouple nickname would either be Katpee or Peeniss.
Being attracted to your own flacid shoe would be the worst fetish ever.
Your stomach thinks all potato is mashed.
The witches from Sabrina having a cat called Salem is like a Jewish family with a cat called Auschwitz.